I Really Did Love This Person and I Hate Him for What He Did to Me, Pam’s Story

Pam (not her real name) shared her story with me during a series of private interviews we had on Instagram chat.

Please note that I have Pam’s permission to write her story because she wanted others to know what James Rooney (her scammer) did to her. She didn’t want to take the lead in telling her story as it was still quite raw, so I had to be gentle with her while asking my questions. That’s how I unearthed her story. We also had to work around the time difference between her location and mine, but we got there eventually.

But, before I get to the part where Pam shares her story, there are things you need to know about her and where she was in her life before the scam.

Pam’s Background
Pam is a 67-year-old widow from the US. She has a son and a daughter. Sadly, her daughter passed away four years before she met James Rooney online. She was 45 when she passed. Pam is still missing her daughter and sharing her photos on her private social media account, especially around her birthday. I was incredibly touched when she shared the photo of a rose bush she planted to commemorate her passing with me. What a lovely way of keeping the memory of a loved one.

“I miss her so, so much, she was only 45 years old.”
— Pam

This is Pam Telling Her Story
James and I met on Facebook. He said he was from Richmond, California, and recently became a widow because his wife died of cancer. He also told me that he was looking for the love of his life. When he came across my profile, he sent me a message. That’s how we met and started talking regularly.

This guy really took his time with me. He seemed genuine and I began to trust him. After the second week, he asked me to download Google Hangouts but later on we talked on WhatsApp, too — although he kept changing his number all the time. I should’ve suspected something wrong but I didn’t. You don’t see the warning signs when you’re in the middle of it. Only after; when it’s too late.

We talked online for a few months before he told me he wanted to marry me. I was overjoyed! We made plans for him to come back to the States to meet me and my son in person.

Soon after we decided to get married, he started asking me to buy those cards (iTunes gift cards). He had trouble with his bank and needed them for his internet. The gift cards weren’t too expensive, and I wanted to help him, so I may have sent a few. But the more money I sent, the more money he asked for. Whenever I told him I didn’t have enough money to send him, he was really cross with me.

 

This is a snapshot of one of their conversations. You can see how James Rooney was emotionally manipulating her.

He said he was a doctor, and the government sent him to Yemen to help with COVID patients. He was supposed to get home, but he said the government wouldn’t let him go home for reasons I didn’t understand. Even his coworkers left the country, but he wasn’t allowed to leave. I was worried sick.

Later, he said he had one day to leave the apartment where he was staying because they were going to blow it up. I felt so stupid for believing him. The government wasn’t going to help him get back home, and did I fall for that? Yes, I did. He got me good.

In the end, I gave him a total of $7000 by taking a loan and then another. I’ve almost got one loan paid but the second one is going to take me 3 years to pay back.

And of course, he didn’t come home to me. Instead, he disappeared. One day, he was on the other side of the phone line, telling me how much he loved me; the next day, he was nowhere to be found. I knew then that he was a scammer, and I was devastated.

Then one day, I saw the real doctor on Instagram, marrying someone. I thought it was James. My James. The one who wanted to marry me. I was so hurt and angry. So, I lashed out and commented right beneath his wedding photo. I said horrible things, and I’m not proud of it. Pain makes you do strange things. Later on, I deleted my comments.

Lieke, who was scammed by the same James Rooney, noticed that I was following him, so she sent me a request, and I accepted it. We started to talk and compare notes. After talking to Lieke and other women who were scammed, I realised that I wasn’t alone. Heartbroken and left with a debt, but not alone. I really appreciate the support I get from the others. It makes my ordeal bearable.

Pam’s scammer (like Lieke’s) used the photos of Thomas Peters, a German doctor. Unfortunately, scammers, including my own, widely use his photos.

The real doctor’s Instagram account (above)

I don’t accept requests from men anymore. Every time I get a request, I snapshot it and do a reverse photo lookup. There are many fake accounts out there, and I warn women against the dangers of online dating whenever I can.

Now I’m picking up the pieces James Rooney left behind. Every day is a challenge, a different kind of challenge. One thing that never changes though: I really did love this person and I hate him for what he did to me.