Fake Love now has a Books to Read section. However, I’d like to add ‘book review’ posts to my blog as well. Best Romance Scam Victim Ever by Becky Shawver is the first one.
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Best Romance Scam Victim Ever by Becky Shawver
Best Romance Scam Victim Ever by Becky Shawver is a memoir detailing her personal experience of being targeted by a romance scammer she met on Match.com and manipulated by him. Her story explores the emotional journey from falling in love with a fabricated persona to uncovering the elaborate deception, serving as a warning about the dangers and sophistication of online romance scams and the importance of awareness.
She shows the reader how scammers use heartfelt conversations, promises, and fake emergencies (health, travel, imprisonment, loss of access to funds, etc.) to build trust and solicit money.
By sharing her story, she also shows us that anyone can become a victim, regardless of their intelligence. She reveals the psychological tactics scammers use to create deep emotional bonds and exploit victims’ vulnerabilities.
This is an important book because it serves as a crucial resource for understanding the nuances of romance fraud, helping others recognise red flags, providing solidarity and helping victims understand they aren’t alone and that their experiences are valid.
The bottom line is…
Best Romance Scam Victim Ever is not a well-written book as a cautionary tale and an exposé on the manipulative world of romance scams. However, Shawver is using her story to educate and protect potential future victims and that on its own is priceless.
I must admit, Best Romance Scam Victim Ever was nothing like the other romance scam victim stories I’ve read before–and I’ve read quite a few so far–but this one is one of the most complicated romance scam stories or memoirs I’ve ever seen.
"You have been the best romance scam victim ever! You have been an absolute angel! But, everything I have told you is a lie. None of it is true. Nothing. I made it all up."
My Highlights
I don’t want to add spoilers to my book review, but I wanted to add my highlighted bits and pieces from the Best Romance Scam Victim Ever here. Don’t worry, I didn’t include my notes.
“Baby,” he began to say but then paused. “Can I call you that? ‘Baby’?”
“I suppose you can, considering it’s what you’ve been calling me for a while,” I responded.
My inner voice chimed in and I began wondering if “Baby” was a term he had to use to avoid mixing me up with his other scam victims.
I went without communication from him for four agonizing days, consumed by worry over flight disruptions and other potential mishaps.
In his anguish, he directed his fury toward me, unleashing a barrage of texts that raged like a tempest for an entire day.
I couldn’t comprehend why he was rambling on about all that stuff as if I was the one accusing him of something instead of it being the other way around. I was only trying to be as understanding as possible this whole time.
Paul’s life seemed eternally enmeshed in turmoil. It seemed as though he was consistently attracting trouble to himself like some kind of magnet. He always had an “attitude” towards just about everyone — which was strange because he was the one who was locked up in a huge prison in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. It wasn’t long after Angie’s passing that he reached out to me again to ask for food money. His voice was strained and he was whimpering, almost on the verge of shedding tears.
Warning signs flickered like distant beacons, but my willingness to overlook them was my undoing. The whispers of caution were lost in the clamor of his tales. This was so sickening.
It seemed there was always something else he needed, a bottomless pit of financial need.
The isolation all this brings is as heavy as the weight of the world on my shoulders.
He didn’t care about how scared I was, or that I thought they had come for me. He just wanted his money.
Have you noticed how, when I’ve “painted him into a corner,” he either changes the subject abruptly, or is suddenly sleepy in need of a rest?
Why, oh why did I not wake up to this travesty sooner? My “kids” and siblings were trying to tell me what Paul was doing to me. And I was so sure they were wrong.
Have you ever felt like nobody was there? Have you ever felt forgotten in the middle of nowhere? Have you ever felt like you could disappear? Like you could fall, and no one would hear?
There are, indeed, times when I feel like just ending it all. I still can’t believe I did all “this” to myself, and to others in my family, especially my children.
Those who are “in the know” about how to recover from these scams say that the best thing any victim can do is to share all that they have been through.
I can’t believe this ditch I have dug for myself.
That conversation went on for over three hours! Anger, paranoia, frustration, evilness, gaslighting.
Paul: “I’ve never seen a grown stupid idiot like you in my life.”
Paul: “God must paralyze the hand you just use in texting me now. If you don’t stay away from me, bad things will happen to you.”
He finally said to me, “You have been the best romance scam victim ever! You have been an absolute angel! But, everything I have told you is a lie. None of it is true. Nothing. I made it all up.”
Please, please do not get caught like I did. They count on you being wrapped up in their stories, and they actively work to keep you so busy that you are unable to stop long enough to process all that is happening to you.
Had I heeded her warning, I would not have lost anything.
